


Cash or Humiliation?

by SimplyTsundere



Series: Writing Requests [20]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anon Email Submission, Bets, Jean Is A Little Shit, Levi Is A Random Patron, M/M, One Shot, Pick up artist Eren, Writing request, late, so is marco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 15:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11084940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyTsundere/pseuds/SimplyTsundere
Summary: When Eren get's bet by his old college palls he can't possibly pick up a random guy in the bookstore he decides to accept that. When they found out his degrees in human behavior and psychology had been put to use as a coach in the art of seduction they wanted to put it to the test. Eren is less than pleased but stands to win $150 if he can get one man's number. Unfortunately that man overheard their bet.





	Cash or Humiliation?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another late email submission that has been filled. This is thankfully the last of the one's I've accepted and the next batch of requests will release Tuesday after requests close. I hope you guys enjoy this little oneshot. I love the idea of Eren thinking he's smooth and falling on his face! Thank you anon who sent the prompt "Eren trying to be suave and failing at picking Levi up. Extra points if he only thinks he failed."
> 
> ~Hugs & Kisses,  
> ❤♠Neko❤♠

How had he ended up here again? Oh yeah, that's right; running a seduction talent blog had it's downsides especially once friends discovered it. Having his old college friends find out he was a specialist in human behavior. Making a blog for his clients and those around the world for helpful hints in the dating world seemed to have back fired...hellaciously. The term 'pick up artist' always made him feel a bit strange. That term had negative connotations with it such as it related to the term 'con artist' which was not what he did. Taking and encouraging people was what he did with the use of basic human psychology. It truly didn't hurt for people with confidence issues to come to him and ask for help. He enjoyed helping people find themselves and the courage to ask out that person that had caught their eye.

Now he was in a vastly different scenario as three men were crowding around him. Jean Kirschtein had been antagonizing him since high school but ultimately they'd learned to get along, Reiner Braun was the leader of his old college fraternity, and Connie Springer was the third who was another friend from high school. Jean slung an arm over his shoulder and casually found a spot in the center of the bookstore and coffee shop. Eren hated that these idiots thought to test him on what he did. He had two degrees in human psychology and behaviors he didn't need this kinda shit. Leave it to Jean to find out what he did then go tell everyone he still associated with that was single. Having a hoard of guys around didn't exactly make for the most inconspicuous travel method.

"Guys, seriously," Eren groaned "why are you dragging me all around?"

"You have to pick up someone we pick," Jean answered as his amber eyes narrowed "and if you do you win $50 from each of us. If you fail you us each $50. Sounds like a good way to make money if you're so good at it, Jaeger."

Connie's hazel eyes sparkled as he nodded his shaven head "Yeah! C'mon, Eren, why don't you show us how it's done!"

Reiner was the last to speak, wide grin across his face "It should be a breeze. How about _that_ guy?" Eren followed the towering blonde's gaze towards the cafe section of the book store. Settled at a small table near the back was a tanned, brunette man with freckles dusted across his cheeks sitting alongside a petite man with striking jet black hair and the palest skin he'd ever seen. The man had a sharp appearance in a hunter green sweater pulled over a white, collared polo with black wire rim glasses resting on his nose. The floating frames really seemed to suit him as he exuded an aura of elegance and refinery. Eren began to mull over the idea. Honestly the man looked as though he'd chew him up and spit him out. The art had peculiar and especially for those who pursued the same sex. There was only one option; the indirect option.

"I can pick him up," Eren grinned, trying to get into his zone of confidence, "you guys are on."

Jean's lips split into a wide smile "And see if you can me his friend's number. _Goddamn."_

Eren rolled his eyes "How about I show you how to do it, instead? I'll be taking an indirect approach. When you know someone is a bit too guarded to be approached directly, or maybe you're too nervous to approach them, then find the group they're with. His friend is genuinely appearing more open with the way he's sitting, at an angle and towards the public. I can easily approach him and let my real target know how I am so that when I switch the conversation they'll be more open to talk. Watch and learn, boys." Eren stiffened up a bit and headed off to the cafe. Carefully he approached the table and noticed that the secondary man was reading Grimm's Fairytales. It was an interesting in that he could use to speak with him so he opted to take it.

The man's rich, chocolate eyes were on him after he spoke up "So, you know in one original Cinderella version they fed the stepmother her own daughters after they attempted to fit their feet into the slipper by maiming themselves."

Chuckling, the man nodded "Yes, it's rather morbid isn't it? Quite like using it as a pick up line....for _normal_ people."

Donning a charismatic smile, Eren asked "Is that saying that you're not normal and it worked? Cause I'd have to agree on the first part."

"Wow, from a 100 to zero in no time flat," the man grimaced at his response.

Eren slid into the seat next to him "Forgive me, I didn't mean it as you assume. Vague answers are a downfall quite the way you set up your first response for an immediate retraction of whoever was attempting to pick you up. I simply meant that you far exceeded expectations of normal....in beauty and wit. Also, you wouldn't be considered normal by most average readers who would recoil at your dog-eared pages."

"Clever," the man offered as he looked to his book "and I'd say it's a sign of a well loved book and nothing else."

"Then what's a sign that you're well loved?" Eren manged to drop the line and take the man by surprise.

Shaking his head, he smiled "I--- I'll give you that one. You got me off guard."

"Oh, don't tell me you didn't expect me to drop a line at some point. I didn't walk over here for no reason," Eren snickered before admitting his reasoning "and that reasoning is because my friend over there, Jean, the one with the two toned undercut and snakebites stuck between the blonde linebacker and the shorter guy with a buzz? He's got a crush. All it took was just one look and he asked me to see if I could put in a good word, because, while you're hella cute, it's not _you_ I'm here for. I'm more interested in your _friend."_ At his words the man's hazy blue eyes lifted from his pages.

"Hahaha!! That's gold! Well, why don't I just go investigate for myself while you willingly get eaten alive," the man responded as he got up from his chair and carried off his book. Eren gladly took his seat as he departed and leaned across the table. His smile was met with a furrowed brow and a grimace.

"Alright, Gorgeous," Eren purred as he leaned over "what's your name? I'm Eren."

The response came flatly as the man returned to reading "Too old for you."

Eren rolled his eyes internally but continued in his pursuit "Well, that's an interesting name. What's it mean?"

Dropping his book with a sigh, the man huffed "That I'm too old for you, kid."

Not taking that as a deterrent, Eren asked "And how do you know that, Beautiful?"

"Instinct," he deadpanned.

"My instinct says you're wrong but it also says that a man who considers The Divine Comedy light reading over tea is a man who is elegant, refined, and has impeccable taste," Eren complimented thickly as he smiled charmingly.

The man's lips finally curled into a grin but it wasn't one that Eren liked the looks of "Your instinct also tell you that your friends are too obvious, obnoxious, and loud when making bets?"

Caught, Eren chuckled "Haha, so you know what I'm doing?"

"Damn right," the man replied instantly.

"Then humor me," Eren shrugged "and I'll cut you in on the $150 I stand to earn if you give me your number."

"Maybe I'd rather humiliate you. Pick up artist _my ass_. You deserve to be humbled a bit don't you think? Trying to con people into giving you their number so you can add it to some kind of sick black book," the man scoffed in response to Eren's offer.

"Whoa, calm down there. I don't like that term. It makes me sound like a con artist. Has it ever occurred to you that people lack the ability, or courage, to just approach a stranger who catches their eye? Even for a simple chat? I try to show people different ways to approach someone and how to tell if they're more open to accepting conversation. I work past their insecurities and show them how to be confident," Eren clarified with a hint of indigence.

The man leaned back in his chair as he sipped his tea "Mhmm, sure, so you're trying to tell me that you do this out of the kindness of your heart?"

"Most days, yes, my blog is free but personal instruction isn't. I happen to have degrees in the field of the human brain. I know what I'm doing," he replied casually.

"And the other days?" The man asked as he inclined his head.

Eren grinned "Well the other days come with benefits; like _you_ Blue Eyes."

"Levi," he sighed. "My name is Levi so quit with the nicknames."

"I like it, _Levi,"_ Eren hummed delightedly as he tried out the name finding that he liked the way it felt on his tongue. "Now do you wanna make some cash, Levi, or humiliate me in front of my old college friends?" Standing without a word, Levi finished his tea, closed his book and placed it under his arm, then casually strode away. Eren sighed and stayed seated for a moment. It seemed he opted for humiliate. Eren dropped his head to the table for a minute contemplating how owing each one of those bastards $50 was still only the second worst part of the day. The first part of the day that sucked was realizing that Levi was attractive, witty, and sassy; three things he loved in a partner. He actually did want to see if he could have taken the guy out for dinner. Oh well, he supposed the chance was over and it was time to go face the music.

Rising from the table he glanced over his shoulder to notice the man with Levi was then leaving with him. Jean, Connie, and Reiner turned to him with shit eating grins. As he slowly headed down the couple steps to the boys, he felt that gnawing feeling clawing at his gut. Almost immediately the teasing began. Each of them was giving him hell for not being as great as he thought he was. It was hell to have to deal with but he couldn't let it get to him. They had always poked fun of him when things hadn't gone well just to get him to laugh about it. He supposed it was their own overbearing, horrendous, completely unnecessary way of making sure that he wasn't too torn up about the progression of the events. It was kinda sweet in their way.

Before they left they suddenly heard a barista call out his name. Of course he hadn't placed an order so he didn't think it was his. No one else seemed to be approaching the counter after several minutes so Eren decided to waltz up and see if it was his. As the barista set the cup down Eren grabbed it and noticed the writing on the side:

_Eren, you owe me. ~L 893-992-3749_

Immediately he took the cup over to the guys and rubbed it in their face. It was absolutely brilliant. That man had twisted it around him and he kinda liked that. Levi provided an interesting twist and he fully intended to thank him. That night he could only think of calling him and thanking him along with asking where to send his money. Perhaps the artist had been conned at first but he couldn't wait to see what else this man had in store. He was too interesting to just give up on. Eren hoped that he could get an actual date out of him and he'd do anything short of murder to try. Wanting Levi was as simple as breathing and he only hoped the rest would fall right into place with it.

 


End file.
